


gloop, teavee, beauregarde, salt, bucket, and deetz

by hothamandcheeseday



Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Musical Based
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21697315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hothamandcheeseday/pseuds/hothamandcheeseday
Summary: lydia deetz hates chocolate. it’s one of the few things she actually does despise. so when willy wonka hides 6 golden tickets around the world for a chance to tour his factory, she doesn’t bat an eye. until, her familiar demon friend reveals his hidden love for chocolate and his passion for a special chocolatier.ps. everyone can see beetlejuice in this one
Comments: 33
Kudos: 121





	1. the candy man and the rat man

lydia deetz hates chocolate.

she absolutely despises it.

so when delia walks in the living room with a box of wonka chocolate bars, the goth wrinkles her eyebrows in disgust.

“what is that?”

delia places the box in front of her, opening the flaps and pulling a single bar out of the contents.

“these are wonka bars,” she states, watching as lydia observes the wrapper, wonka’s caramel delight, “sounds...caramelly”, “you heard about the contest right?”

lydia glances up at her stepmother, her fingers stopping halfway through ripping the wrapper. she shakes her head.

“okay so,” delia sits down, preparing lydia for a word vomit, “the creator of these chocolate bars is opening up the factory for one day to anyone who finds a golden ticket. i assumed you would be interested.”

“you assumed wrong,” lydia replies back, not even skipping a beat, “i don’t like chocolate.”

“i do!” a ghastly voice called out, the demon lydia knew and loved popped out of thin air and bounced right in front of the two girls.

lydia sighed.

“lawrence you can’t keep doing this.” she groaned.

beetlejuice chuckled loudly, coughing violently, dusting expelling from his lungs.

“oh yes i can!” he exclaimed, “i’m gonna help you win that contest.”

the goth rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest. she hated when beetlejuice persuaded her into things she hated, riding a bike, fishing for dead bodies at the bottom of a lake, and now this. she regretted finding that handbook.

“who said i wanted to do it?” she asked.

the demon sighs.

“c’mon, everybody loves chocolate kiddo,” he explains, “i used to love it when i was alive. wonka’s been around since i was your age.”

he’s silent, sitting down next to lydia. delia excuses herself and hurried off to the other room, leaving only the goth and the demon.

“you really want to see the factory, huh?” lydia questions, her face softening.

beetlejuice nods timidly. burying his face in his knees. he only did this when he wanted something.

“more than anything.”

she lets out a sigh of exasperation. she’d do anything for this demon, because he would do anything for her in a heartbeat, if he had one.

“fine,” lydia gasped, “let’s do it!”

6 tickets were left to be found.


	2. more of him to love

an obese german boy appeared on the television, wearing a red sweater and tight khakis, his face was covered with chocolate, and he was speaking with a cheery, high pitched german accent.

“glutton,” lydia thought to herself as she moved her face closer to the screen, her eyes just inches away. her hand was dug into the wrapper of a wonka bar, wonka’s fudgie wudgie, it was one of the few bars she actually liked.

beetlejuice sat behind her, his teeth tearing into a bar as well. he had a thing for the caramel ones. delia had been bringing home boxes for a week.

the boy on screen stared timidly at the camera, waving with a stiff hand. his mother stood beside him, her hands at his shoulders. lydia laughed at his clog and knee high sock ensemble. 

“augustus gloop, the world’s first wonka ticket winner, what do you have to say?” a female announcer, who revealed her name as cherry sundae earlier, exclaimed. she held the microphone up to his mouth.

“i love chocolate!” augustus cheered, raising both arms in the air.

lydia and beetlejuice let out an obnoxious laugh, throwing down their chocolate bars. beetlejuice slaps his knee obnoxiously.

“this kid’s a riot!” the demon cheered, teleporting himself to sit next to lydia, startling the noirette.

delia appeared in the living room, setting down a box of more chocolate, noticing the empty wrappers and naked bars on the coffee table. 

“what’s going on?” she asked, her hands firmly on both hips.

“someone found the first ticket.” lydia explained, turning her back to face her stepmom, her teeth covered in bitter dark chocolate.

“ooh, i wanna see,” the energy obsessed woman announced, bolting over to lydia’s side and moving close so that her nose was almost pressing the screen. she nodded as she listened intently.

there was silence in the room, except for the tv blaring the interview. the kid’s mother never seemed to stop talking about her son, droning on and on in a thick german accent.

“my little augustus may be different,” her loud voice spoke, “but that just means there’s more of him to love!”

lydia grimaced.

“augustus gloop, age twelve, from munich germany,” delia made a mental note, her eyes wandering, “loves chocolate, mom’s a basket case. wonka’s really letting anyone win these tickets?”

lydia nodded, sinking her teeth into another bar. she notices the german boy’s hair, a bowl-cut made of straight blonde tresses that ended at his ears. he looked like someone she wanted to slap, and she wants to slam her hand into the tv just looking at him. 

annoying german foodies: 1  
lydia: 0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so excited to get this story going! each of the characters get their own introduction to lydia heavily based off the musical. i have a few of them done so i will definitely be posting those in a few days.


	3. when veruca says

a blonde, pink clad ballerina, clinging to her father's fur coat for only a moment, unhinged herself and smiled brightly at the camera, waving with her fingers and flipping her long locks behind her shoulder. she tossed her cotton candy colored mink into a suited man’s hands, revealing a ballerina ensemble of any pink lover’s wet dreams.

“our winner is twelve, she likes ballet, she’s the daughter of a peanut billionaire and her name is veruca salt.”

in an instant, she had all of the world’s heart in her hands. batting her big brown eyes as she stared into the camera. it was as if she had never been on live television before, as she was relishing in her 15 minutes of fame. until, the announcer motioned her microphone towards the girl, and uttered the familiar phrase,

“is there anything you would like to say?”

the blonde took no hesitation to lean in, breathing heavily into the microphone, a creepy and inhuman smile on her face, with a glove covered hand she waved to the camera. she went back to clutching her coveted ticket with both hands.

she proceeded to twirl her finger around one of her curls, giggling obnoxiously. she took hold of her foot with her hand, stretching her leg over her head with ease. her father next to her didn’t seem amused, but kept his composure. 

lydia laughed out loud. this russian girl was a nutcase, and it wasn’t even her winning. she didn’t find the ticket on her own. she cheated.

she focused back on the screen, the girl’s father now speaking, 

“as soon as mr wonka made his announcement, my veruca expressed a very keen interest in the competition. she said..”

the blonde fought for the microphone from the newscaster’s hands, ultimately winning and cheering with a sinister grin on her face,

“i want the ticket now!”

“oh my god,” beetlejuice cackling loudly, slapping his knee, “that russian dude named his daughter after a wart!”

the girl’s father sighed, closing his eyes as she giggled with delight.

“how could i possibly refuse?” mr salt groaned, rubbing his temple with his hand.

veruca nodded, winking at the camera. lydia caught that and immediately snorted out a laugh. 

the two burst out into a laughing fit. 

on the screen, the girl’s father was speaking about his business, a peanut salesman. the job like that seemed very weak compared to the extravagance the two claimed to live in. he made a joke about his daughter being a tyrant, and that’s when the water began to boil.

veruca gave her father a nasty glare, her blood boiling. she grunted and muttered something in russian, pointing down furiously. her father stopped speaking and threw his arms down at his side, utterly defeated.

“someone make popcorn!” beetlejuice cheered from behind her, “this little shit’s gonna flip her lid!” 

she went up on her toes and twirled around her father, her feet barely touching the floor. she leaped, she twirled, she glided. she was like a swan, and lydia felt like a black crow compared to her. 

lydia’s mouth dropped down to the floor, her eyes widening in absolute terror. 

“i wanna slap her gorgeous face,” she whispered, her steamy breath fogging up the screen.

the demon appeared behind her, his hand clasping several more bars. placing them beside her, he hoists his hands on the black haired girl’s shoulders.

“and you will get to,” he whispered, his voice tickling her neck, “if you open more of these bars. c’mon! go, go, go lydia deetz!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i! love! bway! veruca! salt! she’s been one of my favorite roald dahl characters since way before musical. i love the fact they made her a russian ballerina and some of her one-liners always have me cackling. (“he’s BANANAS”) i have so many good moments planned between her and lydia. she’ll always be a special character i hold very close to my heart.


	4. queen of pop

two beaming brown eyes glanced into the screen. a girl with dark mocha skin, puffy black hair held up by a single magenta bow, and heavy purple makeup obnoxiously chewed a piece of gum. she popped it with her teeth, causing lydia to cringe at the sound.

lydia deetz also hated gum. 

beetlejuice knew this, and as he heard the girl on screen’s chewing, he snickered at lydia’s disgust. the sound made her skin crawl, and as she squirmed with every chew, she almost threw up.

“my name’s violet beauregarde!” the girl announced, her black curls bouncing with every move she made, “and i chew!”

“that’s right ladies and gents!” a male voice, her father, cheered, his hand on her shoulder as she showed off her ticket, “bow down to the queen of pop!”

the way violet sashayed on the screen made veruca salt seem normal, or at least not that big of a drama queen. veruca was all pink, all name brand, all that and a bag of russian chips. violet was a 70’s rejects in her purple jumpsuit and a more confident presence on tv. lydia envied them.

“i’m not bowing down to this bitch,” lydia muttered under her breath, taking a bite out of the bar in her hand. it left an odd aftertaste in her mouth.

beetlejuice made goo-goo eyes at violet’s dad on screen, drooling obnoxiously as he pressed his face against the glass. 

“hubba hubba,” he gushed, his eyes filling with black hearts, “this beauregarde guy can chew on me.” 

lydia scoffed, shaking her head.

“please don’t flirt with him,” she groans, leaning back, her arms coming down to support her.

the demon whined, flailing his arms around as if he were a five year old in a candy store. lydia handed him another candy bar, wonka’s original milk chocolate, to which he grinned ear to ear.

“thank you lydia, i’m still trying to figure out your last name, deetz,” beetlejuice cheered, digging his sharp, shark-like teeth into the chocolate bar.

she grinned.

“nice try,” she responded, throwing her discarded wrapper on top of the demon’s head, “it’s elizabeth.”

he fake gagged at her words, throwing 

“that’s fucking boring,” he stated, taking a huge chomp out of the bar, “it’s lydia razorblade deetz for now on.”

the dark haired girl shook her head.

“you’re an asshat,” she giggled.

the demon scoffed in fake offense. he clutched his chest and let out an exasperated gasp.

“lydia i’m offended.” 

she sighed with a grin on her lips, glancing down at the journal in her lap. she had been studying the other winners, and had been writing them down. 

augustus gloop  
german little shit  
i hate him  
probably smells bad  
no manners  
chocolate  
gross

veruca salt  
wart  
daddy’s money  
really wants north korea  
twinkle toes  
i want to kiss smack her  
probably smells like roses  
can russians drink she seems like a champagne person??

violet beauregarde  
gum  
i hate gum  
fuck gum  
bj wants to do naughty things with her dad  
jumpsuit  
fuck gum

beetlejuice peered his head over her shoulder, glancing down at her notebook. he chuckled in her ear.

“we gotta kick this violet girl’s ass.” he whispered, shielding her ear so that only she could hear.

she smirked. lydia razorblade deetz knew exactly what she had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was pretty fun to write. i like to imagine lydia studying her competition so she could find out their weaknesses and strengths. next chapter will be out hopefully soon


	5. what could possibly go wrong?

a boy with messy, greasy black hair sat on a flower embroidered couch, an xbox controller in his hand as he focused on the tv screen. his face twisted in teenage angst.

a snapback kept his unruly hair hidden, only small strands poked out. there were a pair of neon orange sweatpants covering his legs, and a jet black hoodie hid his lanky frame. he seemed really tall, but then again, he was sitting down. 

his mother, decked out in a 50’s inspired outfit that screamed ‘housewife’, gently ran her hands over her son’s shoulders, causing him to flinch and utter in a prepubescent boy’s voice,

“mom, please. i’m about to get this guy banned for life.”

lydia snickered.

“oh my god, he’s one of those kids.” beetlejuice exclaimed, spitting out his chocolate bar, his eyes wide, “recluses, i tell ya.”

the noirette had genuinely no idea what he was talking about, but she nodded along with him. 

“i knew this one guy who hadn’t left his couch in years when he was alive,” he continued, “dude was embedded into the couch by the time i got to him. ‘‘twas a shame, he was really hot.”

lydia let out a “tsk” in response, shoving him away by his shoulders. she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“you think every guy is hot.” 

he nods, looking up. the girl is smirking.

“you’re not wrong sister.” he replies, not glancing up from the tv. his eyes were planted onto this mike kid.

he reminded him a lot of lydia, in the sense that, they are both pair, black haired recluses that hiss at the sight of the sun against their skin. beetlejuice, honest to god, thought lydia was a vampire when they left the house for the first time together. 

with his sunken eyes, mike teavee seemed like every other kid. technology has sucked the souls of the modern day gen z’s, and the demon has seen his fair share of deaths due to electronics. a distracted driver turned beheaded, a real life game of battleship using a hair dryer as a boat, and the good old fashioned fork in outlet trick. it sucks: they could’ve all been avoided.

that’s why beetlejuice is glad he’s stayed with lydia. she’s not obsessed with her phone, or computer or even the tv. she acts just how the kids in the 90’s acted, and it gives the demon hope for her future.

“my names ethel teavee, and this is my son mike teavee.”

beetlejuice is snapped out of his moment by the singular flick on his cheek. rubbing it even though it was painless, he glances at lydia, who’s laughing at him. 

her giggle is genuine, and that’s when it’s hits him that maybe somewhere deep inside her core, there’s a soft spot. she’s doing this contest for him. why wouldn’t she? he’s her best friend, he’d do the exact same for her.

he sinks his teeth into another candy bar, watching as lydia examined the boy on screen. he’s glad he’s friends with his little goth teen. she makes being undead somewhat bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! it’s been awhile. during my winter break, i completely forgot about this fic. i didn’t want to rush into this next chapter, but here we are. i’m trying to finish out the introductions so that i can get the actual story going. i’m hoping to post another chapter this weekend too. hope you guys enjoy!


	6. almost nearly perfect

a small, sickly looking boy, wearing rags for clothes stood on screen, holding his ticket with a cheery smile. his family, also in worn out rags, crowded around him. his stature and childish face proved his age. there was no way this boy was over the age of ten.

the deetz’s were sitting around the tv, delia and charles on their second bowl of soup, barbara and adam snuggled in a leather recliner, and beetlejuice and lydia, although sleep deprived, stared aimlessly at the tv. 

“they’re not really nice to him.” delia states, glancing down at her vegetable soup in sorrow, “it’s a shame.”

lydia glanced at his outfit, a ragged pair of pants with a hole-filled shirt, his hat looked to be made of cheap wool. it was a shame. no one deserved to live like this. it made her sad.

sad as in sorrowful. lydia was nowhere near empathic toward people her own age. it’s why she prefers to be alone. there was no-one to pretend to feel sorry for in her room, doors locked, blinds shut.

the bags under lydia’s eyes hadn’t faded for weeks, and charles was certain his daughter has beaten the terrible curse that is insomnia. she’s been stalking (not really stalking, but that’s what beetlejuice calls it) all the golden ticket winner’s social media’s, and it had been taking a harsh toll on her sleeping patterns. 

augustus didn’t have them. veruca had an instagram, yet all she posted was photos of her at dance conventions and competitions. 

“quite the performer,” delia once remarked, glancing over lydia’s shoulder to get a good look at the ballerina, “i used to be this flexible.”

lydia has never given anyone a dirtier look and she never wanted to do it again. she had to help her stepmom up from the ground and out of her splits. she said she used to be flexible, not that she was at that moment.

violet had instagram, and her feed as full of pictures of her with something gum related. she was vibrant and cheesy. it made lydia nauseous.

she couldn’t find anything on mike, he must’ve been banned from every social media platform. she can see it. american didn’t have heavy sensor laws. he must of pissed off a senator.

and she knows charlie definitely doesn’t have one. she doesn’t try to check.

“charlie,” barbara whispered, her head rested against adam’s chest, “charlie bucket. what an odd name.”

the adults discuss the ticket winner’s name for a few minutes, ignoring the ending of the interview. lydia dismisses herself from dinner and scurries up to her room. she makes sure to lock the door behind her.

beetlejuice wasn’t barging in this time.

she pulls out a black journal, a pen taped to the cover, from under her mattress. no one had ever seen this before.

it was her “burn book”. if she were to ever watch mean girls, she could call herself goth regina george.

she held the pen cap between her teeth, and scribbled with furious motions.

mike teavee  
gamer guy  
probably banned worldwide  
where’s idaho again??  
his mom likes the 50’s  
sleep deprived gang rise up  
we could get along  
he’s cool

charlie bucket  
poor but pure  
makes delia sad  
i wish the best for him  
cutie  
tiny  
i hope he gets a better sweater

she closes the journal and falls asleep with the idea of scaring augustus, crushing over veruca, ignoring violet, hanging with mike, and being worried for charlie in her mind.


	7. i’ve got a golden ticket

lydia held one of the final chocolate bars in her hand, her thumbs feeling the wrapper.

it had been two months since the contest had been announced. 5 tickets had been found, 1 was still left, hidden somewhere in the world.

from germany, to russia and the united states, the tickets had been found by less than humble children. lydia wanted to join them so badly.

she had a change of heart since beetlejuice begged her to take part in the contest. almost a thousand bars the two had torn through, yet no ticket. it was a lost cause. delia had stopped bringing home boxes weeks ago.

she studied the wrapper, the bar felt thicker than usual. she’d never gotten a bar like this, or a flavor either. wonka’s dark chocolate surprise. that didn’t sound good.

beetlejuice was staring at her patiently, waiting for the wrapper to be unfolded, revealing another dudded bar. 

“c’mon,” he whisper chanted, his hands in tight fists, “open it!”

lydia sighed, her finger peeling back a piece of the wrapper.

“there’s not gonna be a ticket,” she whispered disappointedly, her head hung down, “for all we know it’s in afghanistan.”

beetlejuice placed a hand on her shoulder.

“don’t let yourself down like that kiddo,” he reassured, “it’s only been two months. there’s no way in hell istanbul has gotten its hand on this baby.”

she, with a sudden rush of adrenaline, tears through the wrapper. she becomes face to face with the detail-less back of the chocolate. she turned the bar around, revealing a reflective golden ticket. her eyes went wide with delight, her mouth gaping open.

“holy shit, lydia!” the demon cheered, jumping up and down. the house shook with ghostly movements.

delia, the maitlands and charles all sprinted into the living room, confused looks on their faces as they stared at lydia.

“where’s the fire?” adam asked, glancing around in fear of smoke.

“i found the ticket!” lydia exclaimed, waving the golden piece of paper in her hand.

the group crowded around her with excitement, pulling her into a group hug, and for once, she didn’t try to pull away. she felt tears appear in her eyes.

lydia deetz had won, and for the first time in her life, she felt accomplished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! this is probably not gonna be the first update of the day, i’m really eager to put these chapters out to make way for the actual plot. thank you guys for all the kudos and comments!


	8. gimme the deetz

halfway across the netherworld sat a group of misfit servants, seated around a vintage, bunny-ears tv. watching intently and making small comments towards the children they saw on screen. if ghosts could eat popcorn, they’d be balls-deep in a bag of assorted mix.

“fatass,” kim, the woman who met her end in a bathtub, whispered about the german boy.

“veruca salt?? oh my god i know her!” presley the jockey exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand. in the summer before her demise, presley had to take an intensive dance class in sweden to help with her balance, and had met a familiar ballerina in one of her class . she was pretty good actually, almost enough to make presley jealous. she was a bitch, “lucky little shit.”

“that violet girl seems to run her mouth a lot,” a cheerleader remarked, running her hands through her hair, “don’t blame her. she’s got a lot to say.”

“mike teavee.” the groom repeated from the screen, “what the hell kind of name is that?”

“this poor kid makes me sad.” miss argentina sighed, adjusting her sash, “kids like him don’t last long in the real world.”

they gathered around the TV the night the last ticket was found, excited to find out the final winner. 

“lydia deetz!?” the group shrieked at the same time, mouths gaping open in surprise. they stared at each other in utter disbelief. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

“and our final ticket winner is miss lydia deetz,” the announcer, who lydia had gotten annoyed within the 45 minutes she’s officially known her, “lydia tell me, how’d you find this coveted ticket?”

the noirette smiled into the camera. it was mostly fake with a hint of “what the hell did i get myself into”. she’d never been on tv before. 

“well, cherry, let me tell you something,” she started, leaning into the microphone, “luck is a very fun game to play.”

veruca salt was probably screaming into her pillow halfway across the pacific.

“ah yes, very fun indeed,” cherry nodded, glancing into the camera, “who’s your friend?”

lydia glances over at beetlejuice, who’s making obnoxious faces to make her laugh offscreen, and motions for him to come to her side. the demon scurries to her side, his hands coming to grip the young girl’s shoulders.

“this is beetlejuice,” she explains, gesturing to the demon behind her, “he’s my-“

“uncle!” he shrieked, jumping up into the microphone, “i’m her uncle!”

cherry looked at the pair confused, but lydia and beetlejuice both gave her grins that proved that this was normal. she was told, by delia, to act sweeter on camera, and then kill them with her, so called “lydioms”, at the factory. she wondered what kind of crack her stepmom smoked sometimes.

“anyways lydia, how does it feel being the last ticket winner in the world?”

lydia smiles fakely at the camera man, her hands dripping with sweat.

“amazing,” she gushes, faking all her positive expressions, “i’ve never eaten more chocolate in my life.”

a crew of producers let out chuckles behind the camera, making this whole situation seem so awkward. lydia kept her fake smile looking genuine.

“you heard it folks!” the announcer cheered, raising her fist in the air, “the last golden ticket has been found, by none other than connecticut’s own…..what’s your name again sweetie?”

lydia leans into the microphone, winking at the camera with a smile.

“lydia deetz.” she spoke into the mic.

“lydia deetz!” the woman repeated, her voice more peppy than that of lydia’s.

wiping away a pantomime tear off camera, delia couldn’t be more proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. last chapter spam for a few days. after this, i promise the plot will start to make actual sense as lydia and bj enter the factory. i kinda based the title off what the name of lydia’s intro song would be if she was in the actual musical. hope you guys enjoy!


	9. it must be believed to be seen

lydia hadn’t realized just how much veruca salt actually was. her living room tv didn’t do the russian justice.

her long blonde curls were draped over her shoulder, holding a platinum crown strong on her head in place. her face was covered with pink makeup of all sorts, from her lipstick to her eyeshadow. her outfit wasn’t even surprising. she wore exactly what she wore when she was on camera. it was much more vivid than what lydia remembered. she looked like a fever dream.

lydia took the liberty of standing next to her and her father as they waited for the gates to open, a crowd of paparazzi snapping shots of the six children paraded around. that’s when she got a good look at her. if it wasn’t for her expressive nature, lydia thought she was actually very pretty. 

“i like your shoes,” lydia states, pointing down at worn out pointe shoes on the dancer’s feet. veruca stared her up and down, a blank yet curious expression on her face. her eyes finally focus on lydia’s face, which was heating up from embarrassment pretty quickly.

veruca nods. lydia can see a hint of a smirk on her lips. maybe it’s because the russian loves compliments too much, or maybe because she was never used to them. she couldn’t tell.

“my name’s lydia.” she explained, trying her hardest to keep this one-sided conversation stable, holding her hand out for veruca to shake.

“yeah i know,” the ballerina replies, pushing down lydia’s attempt at a handshake. she straightened her shoulders to continue, “you americans are very creepy.”

it’s in that moment that lydia realizes that these other kids know exactly who she is. they’ve seen her name and face on tv. they know lydia deetz, but they don’t know her story.

beetlejuice catches on, and almost says a joke about nuclear weapons, but lydia stops him before he scrapes the knee of conversation. she’ll let him speak when the time is right

she does try to speak again herself, after 5 minutes of awkward european silence.

“so i hear you like ballet.” she starts, causing the russian girl to give her a glare so sharp it could cut wood.

veruca huffs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

“who tell you of this?” she asks, keeping her composure instead of letting an outburst break loose. lydia cannot comprehend what she’s saying for a second, “i don’t recall talking to you тупой американец.”

lydia takes a glance over at mike and charlie, both preoccupied with more important things. 

“in your interview,” lydia explains, but her words sound more like a question, “your dad said something about-“

“nonsense,” the russian girl interrupted, stomping her pointe shoe clad foot on the ground, “papa never tell you anything you american идиотка.”

beetlejuice leaned his mouth next to lydia’s ear, whispering in the softest yet gentle voice she had ever heard, 

“that means idiot.”

lydia cannot believe her ears.

she scoffs and drags beetlejuice off to the other side of the courtyard, stopping once she was standing next to mike teavee.

he glances up from his phone, giving her a tooth, tired eyed smile. he holds his hand out for her to shake this time. he’s not rude like the others.

“i’m lydia.”

“i’m mike.”

he’s nice, with a warm smile and a soft handshake. he’s actually talking to her. that’s odd. not a lot of boys find lydia appealing enough to talk to. 

for the last ten minutes, they exchange nintendo ID’s and drabble in a few rounds of mario kart. he had to hand it to her, she’s a pretty good driver. he still beats her though, and she arrives to the finish line in second place, he gives her a high five. she can’t get his laugh out of her head.

he’s much kinder than the other kids. he actually takes time to listen to her. augustus and veruca were stuck up, and violet just thought she was weird. lydia gave charlie a smile and a wave when she saw him, which he reciprocated. but they hadn’t engaged in a conversation yet. she would try to, eventually.

the time struck 9 am, and with all the muttered complaints from miss salt behind her, lydia couldn’t believe she made it this far. the golden crested gates began to slowly slide open, all on their own. was this the doing of wonka? lydia couldn’t tell.

a man, pencil thin in a purple suit jacket and brownish checkered pants, stood at the entrance to the factory, which looked scarier than entertaining. it was right up lydia’s alley. 

beetlejuice, placing his hands on lydia's shoulders as all the other parents did with their spawn, grinned wickedly in ghoulish delight. his dream was finally coming true, he was meeting his childhood role model.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i said i was done updating this story of awhile, but i literally couldn’t help posting this one. i had to add some chemistry between lydia and veruca. i love them both so much. thank you for all the comments and kudos!


	10. strike that, reverse it

as wonka approached the group he led into the factory, he took in the sight before him; a bavarian beefcake, a russian snob, a jazzy gum chewer, a videogame insomniac, a poor boy, a goth chick and their respective parents.

he started with augustus gloop.

“guten tag mr wonka.” his mother spoke, shaking wonka’s hand rather roughly.

“as to you frau gloop,” he replied, wiping his hand onto his pants rather roughly, “this must be little augustus.”

“hallo!” 

wonka seemed frightened, not by their personalities, but by their sizes. they seemed to be the type that never turned down a fight when it was presented.

“he’s my tiny little pickle.”

he laughed again, almost nervously.

“i’m afraid you’re not allowed to bring outside food into the factory.” wonka explained, a slight look of sympathy on his face.

“b-but that’s my lunch.” augustus whined, wrestling with the candy man over the sausage in his hand.

wonka won, of course, throwing the discarded piece of meat into the garbage behind him.

“to lead our group, augustus gloop, for who could lose sight of him.”

the germans entered the factory, dazed and confused.

next came the russians.

“ah, if it isn’t the ballerina and her damsel in distress.” 

veruca gave the candy maker an odd look, placing her purse in the crook of her elbow. she judged her father, hard, in the side, causing him to step forward and explain them.

“oleg salt from novosibirsk,” her father spoke, holding out his clean hand for wonka to shake, and this time the man didn’t wipe it onto his pants, “i run salt peanuts, salt cod, and salt mines.”

wonka nodded, a fake grin on his face.

“that’s a lot of salt, you should watch your blood pressure.”

the blonde gave wonka a grimace, rolling her eyes so fast that they could’ve popped out of their sockets. her father sucked in a breath.

“and this is my wonderful daughter.” oleg started, gesturing towards the ballerina beside him.

“dyspepsia.” wonka said with no emotion.

“veruca!” the girl of the namesake groaned rather loudly, becoming frustrated.

“angina.”

“veruca!”

after multiple attempts to announce (very rude of wonka’s part) all of oleg salt’s medicinal problems, wonka had finally finished the list. 

“i’m terribly sorry,” wonka began, glancing down from the paper to veruca, “i was just checking your father’s medical reports. oleg, entrepreneur, you really must take care of yourself.”

this boiled veruca’s blood.

“i’ll take care of you wonka if you don’t focus on me!” she shrieked, her gloved finger almost touching his nose. 

wonka finally got a good look at this devil child. her appearance really proved her age. the pink jacket around her shoulders proved her wealth.

“it’s a pleasure to have you here,” wonka continued, brushing off her comment, “where did you get that mink.”

veruca glanced down at her outfit. this candy man seemed to not be one to have a fashion taste.

“are you for real?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

oleg groaned.

“it’s baby seal, clubbed and tickled pink.” he explained, prying veruca off of the guy’s leg. 

the two moved to the end of the line, oleg dragging veruca by her sleeve.

“beauregardes!” 

a tall, mocha skinned pair of purple lovers approached him, bouncing in every step.

“eugene beauregarde!” the man greeted, holding out a firm hand for wonka to shake, “and i’m guessing you already know the queen of pop.”

before wonka could speak however, eugene pulled out an expensive looking camera, and snapped a picture of his daughter and the candy maker.

“instagram it daddy!” she cheered. 

the flash of the camera almost blinded him, flashing a grin pale white into his eyes. it took him a moment to regain his sight.

“delighted to meet you.” wonka said cheerfully, back to normal, “what is it you do actually?”

violet sighed.

“do? i chew!”

“gusenheit.”

“the same piece of gum for the last three years.”

“it’s a gum chewing record!” mr beauregarde interrupted, but not before a swift nudge in the ribs by his daughter’s elbow.

“fascinating.” wonka exclaimed, not fascinated one bit, “but you can’t bring gum in here.”

violet and eugene scoffed, their eyes widened as if wonka had confessed to thousands of murders.

“why not?!” she pouted, drawing the attention of veruca, who furrowed her eyebrows at the obnoxious father daughter duo.

“because,” wonka explained, “it’s disgusting.”

violet blew another bubble, but this time, wonka grabbed it before she could deflate it and pulled. a yard, at least, of gum began to fly out of her mouth as wonka pulled with all his might.

the gum chewer and her father, arms folded, pouted all the way to the end of the line.

“next!”

mike and ethel teavee, the former being pulled by his ear, retrieved their stop at the front of the line.

“ethel teavee and mike teavee.” her voice boomed, her arm coming around to her son’s shoulder, “we should be on the list.” 

wonka checked his papers, which were actually just blank.

“ahh yes. the boy who hacked into my computers.”

mike stifled a laugh, not looking up from his phone. wonka tipped the phone out of his hand, and stomped on it, hard. hard enough to the point of glass flying out of the screen. the gamer stared, mouth gaping down to his knees.

“anyway, mike the brain,” wonka continued, kicking the wrecked phone out of the way, “you must explain just how you won the ticket.”

mike laughed out loud this time.

“shut up old man! i’m not a fan,” he snickered, “you know where you can stick it.”

he, basically dragging his mom to the end of the line, smirked at lydia, who nervously laughed along.

charlie and joe bucket came to the front, but lydia didn’t pay attention to them. all she cared about was mike, who pulled out a backup phone and the two played a quick game of mario kart before it was her turn.

she moved to the front of the podium, taking a quick glance at veruca, who looked as if she was preparing for an mma showdown.

“and you must be lydia deetz,” wonka explained, pushing out his hand for lydia to shake, and she took the opportunity.

“in the flesh,” she replied, her voice monotone, her smirk genuine.

he studies her with a sharp eye, catching her expression of heavy eyes and pursed lips. she seemed like the type of person that made fun of him in high school, but lydia seems much sweeter than what she portrays. wonka knows this. he’s gonna break her out of her shell.

“now tell me,” he started, elbows against the stand, face in his palms, “how could someone so tiny eat so much chocolate?”

lydia’s not tiny, but she's also not the tallest person her age. veruca and mike are borh extremely tall, but augustus, violet and charlie are all still reaching their 5’3’s. lydia’s glad to be considered intimidating to some, their eyes watching her every move.

“i don’t like chocolate.” she sighed, her voice still monotonous as usual.

“but i do!”

the demon jumped over lydia aggressively, almost landing on top of her. he cut through the empty space between the goth and the candy maker. 

wonka’s eyes were widened as beetlejuice stuck out his arm, and shook his vigorously.

“pleasure to meet you mister wonka.” he greeted, his voice raspy, “it’s been a dream.”

wonka is very surprised.

“pleased you meet you mister juice, miss deetz.” he speaks, smiling, “you both will be very fun to have around.”

the demon is in awe. wonka knew his name. how on god’s name? i guess he’ll never know.

after almost twenty minutes of rules and signing papers, wonka begins to guide the kids and their parents through a long hallway, the preteens whispering multitudes of complaints along the way.

“you’re stupid.” augustus whispered to mike, who was tripping over his own untied shoelaces.

“you stink.” mike complained, plugging his nose with a snicker.

“i’m winning.” veruca proclaimed, her eyes wandering the walls.

“you think.” violet remarked, glancing at the russian girl in annoyance.

“let’s go!” charlie cheered, smiling at his grandpa.

“oh no.” lydia groaned, shaking her head as beetlejuice made heart eyes at eugene beauregarde.

on with the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. strike that, reverse it is probably one of my favorite songs from the catcf soundtrack because it’s just so funny. it’s basically the introduction song to wonka’s antics and attitude behind some of the golden ticket winners and i just find it so funny when he’s talking to veruca and her dad. anyways, thanks for reading!


	11. auf wiedersehen, augustus gloop

wonka led the group in a room full of candy trees and a large chocolate river in the center of it all. the kid’s eyes were wide with wonder, especially augustus, who’s eyes were the size of plates. 

the candy man led them to a soft spot in the room, covered with lime jelly grass and marshmallow flowers. lydia has never seen anything of the sort. it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. her mom would’ve loved to see this.

beetlejuice, who’s eyes had drifted from eugene to oleg, had been enraptured by this magical room. it seems as if he was crying by its beauty. 

all the kids looked like they were about to go insane, just by the impatient looks on their faces. wonka dismisses the group after stalling for some time, and the german boy had taken to chase after the chocolate river.

lydia and beetlejuice stayed lowkey, only taking turns poking the taffy rocks. when augustus has approached wonka with absolute chaos in his eyes if he wasn’t given the answer he wanted.

“can we eat it?”

he had never given the formal answer.

“yes.” wonka explained, “everything in here is edible.”

the amount of european terror that erupted was immense. both augustus and veruca let out shrieks of excitement, and lydia and beetlejuice both almost fell to the jelly ground in a fit of snickers. augustus began taking fist fulls of chocolate out of the river and drank it in one swallow. veruca had her arms full of cotton candy that matched her aesthetic. 

mike and lydia glared at each other as they watched the events unfold, both holding in laughter. violet had caught on, and sent a wink to lydia, who blush profusely.

“woah,” she thought to herself, “that’s never happened before.”

her and mike took turns pulling apart licorice leaves, which tasted oddly like green apple. they made small talk as they dig into the candy yard, not looking up from the treasures below.

until,

they heard the most ear splitting scream in the history of screams. if hell had a soundtrack it would be that one replay. the groups turned around to examine where the sound was coming from. it was veruca.

for once in her life she wasn’t whining over something, although her father had his hands over his ears as if she was. her eyes widened with absolute terror, her face pale, her finger shaking as she pointed to what had her so frightened.

augustus has fallen into the chocolate river, which was turning his skin a dark shade of milk chocolate brown. veruca had witnessed the entire thing

wonka tried to help him escape, but it was to no avail, unsuccessful. and the group watched the german boy slither around the river like a buoy. he was being pulled by some mysterious force to a pipe, which was sucking some of the chocolate up through the ceiling. 

augustus, who was now paralyzed in full horror, flailed his arms around as the tube began to pull him up. he made progress to the middle of the tube, until he stopped.

“blockage.” wonka whispered, causing the rest of the group to glance at him, “the tube gets narrower in the middle. he’s stuck.”

augustus’s mother, who was panicking tearfully, almost fainted at those words. her little boy, once indulging in the milk chocolate liquid, was now turning into it himself. she covered her eyes with her hands.

the chocolate began to block up at the bottom, and augustus was slowly inching up. 

“is there anyway to get him out?” charlie asked, biting on a candy cane. 

“no.” wonka stated, blankly, “unless the oompa loompas can find a way.”

the group realized that wonka had spoken what was meant to be a thought.

“what are oompa loom-“

a wild cry was heard from the tall candy trees, and a cluster of troll looking creatures disbarred from their hiding spots. they had fuzzy orange hair and darkish skin, and stood up to just below charlie. 

they crowded around the pipe, staring deeply into augustus’s soul with big beady eyes. he let out an uncomfortable groan, which caused many of the kids to gasp.

then all at once, augustus was shot up the pipe, the chocolate once below him couldn’t take the pressure, and he ascended into an unknown place.

“where is he going?!” his mother shrieked, her eyes wild.

“the fudge room.” wonka explained, staring up at the empty pipe, “where he’ll be caramelized.”

his mother let out a scream almost like veruca’s, except more defeated and adult like. there was no one to comfort her. she was alone. 

lydia glanced back at veruca. she stood uneasily next to the waterfall. the cotton candy once in her hands had been discarded, and instead, her arms were wrapped around her father’s arm, burying her face into his fur coat as she sobbed. 

there was a part of her that felt horrible for augustus’s fate, and another part that laughed uncontrollably. beetlejuice had already taken the liberty of hiding his snickering.

as the group was guided out of the room, lydia took a glance back at augustus’s mom, who had fallen to the ground in a heap of endless sobs, cradling her hands to her chest. her son was gone.

but the tour still goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shits going downhill fast. i’m trying to make the demise chapters pretty short to make way for lydia’s. i will say, veruca’s chapter will be very important. anyways, thanks for all the kudos and comments. they really make my day!


	12. juicy!

“this is liquid sunshine.” wonka explained, holding out a glowing lollipop to the five remaining kids, whose faces were filled with childish delight, “it’s made of mixing bananas and uranium.”

“uranium?” charlie asked.

“actually,” oleg salt, who glances at veruca, states “we do that in russian.”

the two of them nodded, the rest of the group left in confusion.

“those fucking russians.” beetlejuice whispered into lydia’s ear, causing her to stifle a laugh, “i wouldn’t mind mixing my banana with his uranium though.”

that was the final straw, and lydia let out a chuckle that interrupted the activity. veruca gave her a pout, she must’ve heard beetlejuice say russians. mike was laughing however, and it gave lydia reassurance.

“anyway,” wonka continued, giving lydia a hard glare, “it’s the perfect nightlight.”

he handed it off to charlie, who examined the candy with wild eyes.

“it’s perfect for reading comics under the stars.” he giggled, glancing at his grandpa with a smile.

“why not use a lightbulb? dumbo,” veruca questioned, rather rudely.

“we don’t have electricity.” charlie explained, and veruca’s eyes went wide.

the group went silent. everyone stared at veruca as she glanced down embarrassingly. it wasn’t the first time she’d said anything hurtful during the tour, it was a constant cycle. she’d say something that would’ve been best kept unspoken, and then she’d look down at her feet in pity.

“anyway,” wonka began, tossing the glowing candy to charlie, who caught it perfectly.

he pulled out a handful of some chocolate spheres, tossing them onto the ground as they exploded under everyone’s jumping feet. it startled, you guessed it, veruca the most, and she grabbed onto her father’s arms for support as she struggled to regain her balance.

lydia glances at beetlejuice, who looked as if he was having the time of his life. she’d never seen this demon so happy. it made her heart swell with joy.

“exploding bon-bons.” wonka explained, tossing the final batch down “still working out the kinks on those babies.”

violet approached him, a gentle gleam in her eyes. her hands behind her back, she gave him a cheesy smile that he didn’t buy for one minute.

“mister wonka,” her father started, placing his hands on his daughter’s shoulders, “we have an idea.”

“i want gum.” violet interrupted, throwing her arms out wide.

wonka thought for a moment before moving to the back of the machine in the center of the inventing room. he retrieved a tiny blue stick of taffy. it was gum.

“this isn’t your average piece of gum, dear,” the candy man explained, “this holds the taste of an entire three course meal, from the appetizer to the dese-“

“i’m the queen of pop,” violet interrupted once again, plucking the piece out from between wonka’s fingers. she placed it in her mouth.

the group crowded around her, watching as she closed her eyes in concentration. her lips smacking as she chewed. lydia felt her skin crawl.

“how does it taste honey?” mr beauregarde asked, his phone out and proud as he filmed this exciting moment.

“like roast beef” she replied, her eyes fluttering open. her smile was evident in her voice.

she closed her eyes once more, focusing on the next incoming flavor.

“tomato soup,” she stated, “i can actually feel it running down my throat.”

mike let out a tiny laugh, his mom nudging him annoyed. lydia glanced at him as they both hid their giggles.

“blueberry pie and ice cream?”

the look on wonka’s face was that of surprised and worried. 

“violet..s-sweetheart. i think it would be best if you-“

“wonka!” eugene yelped, standing up to the candy man. he came up to just above his top hat. not saying that wonka is short, but yeah, he’s a tiny guy, “just let the girl chew. it’s what she does best.”

“what’s happening to her?” charlie asked, breaking the moment of suspense.

the rest of the group focused on violet, who’s complexion was turning that of a blueberry. her skin was dark blue.

all at once, her body began to swell up. it was a terrifying sight. but neither lydia or beetlejuice could look away. 

she glanced at veruca, who was smirking at violet’s demise. she whispered something to her father, watching at the gum chewer slowly became a blueberry.

“wonka! what’s happening?!” eugene asked, her voice harsh with tears.

“she’s turning into a blueberry.” he whispered, “ive tried this on like twenty oompa loompas, but they all kept turning into blueberries. it’s just so weird.”

the look on eugene’s face was shock.

within a second, violet had exploded. her body had turned into a pile of purple string, the consistency of gum. her father shrieked out in terror at the sight of his daughter.

lydia’s heart broke. she hated violet, she really did. but she wouldn’t wish anything like this on her. it was heart wrenching.

“there’s still more to the tour,” wonka began, leading what was left of the group to the next room, “the show must go on!”

the worst was yet to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really just trying to throw these chapters out there to get ready for lydia’s. i’ve officially finished the entire fic so i’ll be posting the final chapters by the end of the week. i might be posting veruca’s by tonight as well, that one was a little heartbreaking to write tbh. anyways, thanks a lot of the support on this fic, it means the absolute world.


	13. veruca’s nutcracker sweet

due to grandpa joe and his inability to bend the way he used to, wonka had redirected the tour to the nut room.

a squirrel, barely standing up an inch, scampered across the floor, catching the attention of veruca.

her eyes lit up, her hands unhinging from her purse as she tossed it to her father. as the squirrel passed her buy, she chasing after it. when it left her sight, she pointed to where it left, glancing back and forth between the spot, but wonka didn’t seem to notice.

“that’s jeremy, my head squirrel.” wonka explained, “they sort my nuts.”

veruca paced the floor over to her father, giving him a nasty glare. her pointe shoes touching the ground, she stomped around angrily. oleg tried to keep composed, but part of him wanted to pull veruca by her ears.

she continued to give him nasty look after nasty look, stomping around in circles, mumbling incoherent russian under her breath.

“this bitch really wants a fucking squirrel.” beetlejuice whispered into lydia’s ear, causing the noirette to stifle a laugh with her hand.

oleg groaned, pulling the collar of his shirt to blow some air onto his sweating body. was his own daughter making him nervous? how embarrassing! 

“daddy,” veruca finally spoke, her voice in a deep growl that made even charlie’s skin jump, “я хочу белку. now! now!”

her father approached the candy man, pulling out wallet and revealing a tight wad of hundred bills. lydia, charlie and mike’s eyes widened at the sight. they had never seen anything this expensive. veruca must really want a squirrel.

“how much?” oleg started.

“for what?” wonka asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

“one of your squirrels.”

wonka thought for a moment. damn, this dude really loves daydreaming.

“they’re not for sale.”

that set veruca’s angst to an all time high. stomping around in a circle, shrieking “squirrel” in continuous russian and english, her pointe shoes making a “clank” sound as they touched the floor.

“please wonka, name your price.” oleg pleaded, almost dropping to his knees, “i will double it.”

veruca pushes her father out of the way, her face just inches away from wonka’s. that whenever he seemed to get a good look at this foreign chick.

two brown beady eyes staring at him with fire coursing through them, a pair of dark furrowed eyebrows, and a gentle, convincing smile on her lips. damn, she was good.

“just one squirrel for little veruca?” she giggled, but her last two words came out as “wittle vewuca”. her laugh was both obnoxious and adorable, the last one mostly to lydia. she had never seen anyone more precious yet snobby in her life.

wonka laughed along with her, dragging on.

“net.” he finally said, causing veruca’s face to drop and her lips to quiver into a pout. 

lydia was about to see either a nuclear bomb explosion or a murder; she didn’t know which one. beetlejuice, behind her, was finding this whole situation absolutely hilarious.

“no?!” veruca repeated, dropping her arms to her side, “no one says no to veruca salt!”

she made a run for it, pushing wonka and mike out of the way during the process. she sprinted at full speed down the hall until she made it to the door labeled “nut sorting room”. she entered without even thinking.

when lydia and the crew caught up, they were in for an astonishing show. the squirrels were much more larger than anyone had ever seen, standing just a few inches about the ballerina that tried to engulf them in her arms. she giggled wildly as she almost trips in her pointe shoes, her fingers barely touching the squirrel’s fur. she stopped in her tracks, muttered something in thick russian and continued to chase the rodents. 

“what the russian fuck is going on?” beetlejuice exclaimed, a little too loudly, mike held back a laugh. oleg gave him a nasty glare.

veruca went up on her toes and twirled around. she performed a few impressive leaps and turns as the squirrels followed behind her. lydia was smitten.

suddenly, all the squirrels went into attack mode and began to grab at veruca’s legs and arms, pulling her off the ground and dragging her against the floor. she screamed, pink fingernails clawing at the ground in an attempt to escape. that’s when her eyes lit up with an idea.

the conveyer belt. it was veruca's only way to escape the clutches of the evil squirrels. she pulled herself onto it and began to sprint up. she turned her head to be face to face with four squirrels, who each grabbed either a leg or an arm. she thrashed around, but it was no use. the squirrels had her in their trap.

with one final move, the squirrels had pulled her apart limb from limb.

lydia’s mouth gaped open, and her eyes became wet with tears. she found herself sobbing, letting her demon friend pull her into his arms. she couldn’t even think correctly. veruca salt was in pieces.

oleg covered his mouth with his hand, slowly sinking down to the ground. his daughter, his only child had been dismembered. all because of his lack of parenting. 

as the final three kids moved on, lydia, still in hysterics, turned to see oleg, who had crouched down next to veruca’s severed leg, curled up in a ball and sobbing.

silence was the only sound that filled the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn. this is where everything starts to go downhill. this is probably one of my favorite chapters to date! hope u guys enjoy!!


	14. vidiots

the group was silent until they made it to a room with a giant tv in the center, causing mike to cheer out an “oh hell yeah!”. lydia has been clinging to his side since veruca’s demise.

“watch yourself.” wonka groaned, examining mike and lydia bolt over to the screen. 

“yeah, mike don’t be stupid.” ethel groaned, topping off the rest of her “lemonade” in her flask.

“shut up mom!” mike whined, strapping on a pair of gaming glasses and stepping into a tube.

he jumped, watching as the glasses transformed him into a world of a brightly colored landscape. he dodged aliens, monsters and even wild dogs. lydia laughed along with him.

charlie was beside lydia, the two making soft spoken comments to each other. he was a sweetheart, and lydia enjoyed having him around.

the tv in the center of the room began to flicker, showing what mike could see on screen. both charlie and lydia let out “woahs” at the sight. it was pretty impressive technology.

“you might want to turn that-“

but wonka was interrupted by a bang where mike was standing, followed by a puff of smoke, and the gamer was gone.

ethel let out an exasperated gasp.

the tv blinked back to color, and there was mike. he panicked, his body trembling as monsters and aliens began to appear next to him, knocking him down and weakening his health on screen. 

the group watched in awe as wonka pressed a button and the screen faded to black. mike appeared back in the tube, but not like what you’d think.

he was shrunken, only as tall as a pencil. his voice was high pitched and his shrike sounded like a whisper.

ethel, disgruntled and hungover out of her mind, picked up her son and placed him into her purse.

“i’ll drink to that.” she groaned, pulling out another full flask, vodka coursing through her veins. she turned and left the same way the group came out. 

“what the fuck just happened?” beetlejuice asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awe snap the last chapter before we get to lydia’s demise. i’m sorry it’s short. i just really wanted to get this one over with to get ready for lydia chapter. i will probably be posting that one today as well!!


	15. lydioms

“lydia,” wonka started, glancing at the goth, “have you ever tried black licorice? i think you’d really like it.”

she gave him a hard glare.

“yes asshole i have.” she growled, causing the candy man to step back.

“okay then,” he continued, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead, “but have you seen this..”

he opens the door, which had just appeared out of thin air before the group. inside was a cage full of colorful and dull licorice snakes, which hissed at the group before them.

charlie and his grandpa backed up, while the demon and the goth cooed at the snakes.

“they’re so cute!” lydia gushed, holding her hands to her chest.

“they’re so...snakey.” beetlejuice exclaimed, letting one smell his hand. it recoiled and slithered to the other side of the cage.

“these are my licorice pythons.” wonka explained, stepping his foot down besides the crouched demon, “they are made with the finest of black and strawberry licorice in the world.”

the demon blushed as the candy man melted down next to him, looking him straight in the eyes.

“would you like to try one?”

it took the demon a moment to process the fact that wonka was indeed talking to him. he nodded with delight, and let the candymaker open the gate.

ten snakes slithered out of the cage, hissing at charlie and his grandpa, but slowly warming up to lydia. they weaves through her legs and around her arms as she felt their gummy skin.

“woah, lydia,” beetlejuice chuckled, “these snakes really much like depression. fucking losers.”

the snakes turned to the girl, hissing violently at her. they slowly slithered up to her, and within one breath, they had trampled her. their teeth, yet made of licorice, where sharp and painful as they dig into the goth’s skin. she let out a few curse words as they suffocated her body with their weight. 

lydia attempted to pry some of the snakes off of herself, but it was no use. she had no upper body strength, and these snakes weighed a fuck ton.

the snakes had completely covered her body, and she couldn’t breath. her face was turning blue.

“fuck!” beetlejuice exclaimed, knowing he couldn’t lose his best friend. he thought for a hard moment, before realizing he still has a favor from a familiar beauty queen.

he found himself transported into the netherworld again, quickly calling miss argentina, who, while rolling her eyes, sent a slew of undead rookies to his side. they had no idea what shit they were getting into.

they were sent back to present time, where lydia was barely moving under the weight of the snakes. she was struggling to breath, and when she did, it was shaky and short.

beetlejuice and his team of a few football players, an undead groom, a deceased drunk driver, and a teen jockey began to pull the snakes off of lydia. with their dead strength and wicked good teamwork, the snakes had been lifted off the goth in mere seconds.

she sat up, breathing deeply and regaining her strength. she notices she now had an audience of six astonished eyes, those of wonka, charlie, and his grandfather.

before the undead were taken back to the netherworld, the jockey exclaimed as her body began to vanish,

“oh my god, willy wonka! i love your work!”

lydia and beetlejuice have never been escorted out of a candy factory by a team of midgets before, but they would do it again in a heartbeat.

“what the hell just happened?” beetlejuice asked, his arm being pulled by lydia as she guided the two of them out of the factory gates.

“i don’t even wanna fucking know.” she sighed, her voice rough, “i’m pretty sure that dude’s a serial killer.”

“you think so?” 

she nodded, trying hard not to think about the ballerina. but the stress was too much on her fragile, black heart, and she began to slowly sob into her hands.

although she’s familiar with death, she didn’t know it was so harsh. she literally witness three lives being lost right in front of her eyes. it was a rather frightening sight, even for lydia deetz, who was best friends with an actual demon. she felt very hypocritical.

“hey,” beetlejuice began, crouching down to lydia’s height, taking her hands in his, “everything’s gonna be alright, lyds. you’re still alive, and i’m pretty sure those tiny guys will glue that veruca girl back together again.”

wiping a final tear away, she glanced back to the factory. a factory full of death, pain and a lot of heart problems. a factory where she saw people she barely knew met their ends in the most horrible ways possible. a factory where nothing would ever be the same. but in her heart, something would turn out okay in the end.

“i guess you’re right.” she giggled.

“i always am.” he replied, pulling her into a gentle hug. she really needed this.

when the two of them returned home, delia, charles and the maitlands wanted to know the entire story. but lydia assured them it would take years to explain. she’ll happily tell of her adventures at the factory when she’s ready.

she cannot wait to see the looks on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys thought i’d serious kill off my girl lyds, you must be out of your mind
> 
> the final (official, i promise there’s one more left) chapter! thank you to everyone that has commented and gave kudos to this story. it means the absolute world to me. i had so much fun writing about my two fav musicals and (hopefully) lydia and the golden ticket winners can meet again someday. i will probably be posting the final chapter later tonight!


	16. Epilogue

an eighteen year old lydia deetz sits at her desk, which she’s had since before her mother had died. it had been years since the events at wonka’s factory. and she hadn’t been able to get anything out of her head. 

she’d slowly began to open up to charles and delia, but not everything felt comfortable to speak about. she wasn’t ready. she wasn’t sure she’d ever be.

she found out weeks after the events that charlie was given the grand prize of owning the factory. damn. lydia dodged a huge bullet. as far as she knew, the rest of the kids were dead, except for mike, who’s presence online became extinct after his sudden size change.

as she types away on her laptop, finishing up an essay for her english class, she sees a notification for an app she rarely uses, instagram. her high school friends had begged her to get one her sophomore year, and she gave in because A. they really wanted her to and B. she couldn’t say no. she’d had trouble being herself and not letting people control her life since the factory.

she opens the app, and scrolls down to access the notification, it’s a direct message from a name she hadn’t thought about in years,

veruca salt.

holy shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, the fic is finished! thanks to everyone's comments and kudos. they really kept me motivation to finish this story. I'm slowly getting inspiration for my next fic, stay tuned!
> 
> -hothamandcheeseday


End file.
